


Letting Go

by cinnabongene



Category: Better Call Saul (TV), Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Desperation, Humiliation, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, Omorashi, Post-Episode: s05e16 Felina, Verbal Humiliation, Watersports, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:46:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabongene/pseuds/cinnabongene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saul has a humiliation kink. Jesse has a piss kink. They find common ground.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

It was Tuesday, Saul’s day off, so he and Jesse were making full use of their morning together. Jesse thrust inside of the older man, moaning louder as his orgasm approached. But something was missing. Saul didn’t seem to be enjoying himself as much as Jesse was used to. A chord of fear struck through the younger man. Was Saul getting bored of him? Would he soon dispose of him, just like Walter had? 

“You okay, man?” he asked, slowing his thrusts. 

“Yeah, yeah. Keep going, kid,” the former-lawyer-turned-Cinnabon-manager replied. 

“You want to switch or something?” 

“No, this is good, Jesse,” Saul insisted. 

“Is there anything I can do better? This isn’t just for me. I want you to like this too.” 

Saul looked to the side, shame creeping up over him. “You think you could… tie my hands up?” 

Jesse stilled for a moment, making sure he’d heard right. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. What with?” 

“Your belt should do the job.” 

Jesse nodded and pulled out, leaving Saul to squirm on the bed, empty and anxious. Jesse recovered his belt from the floor and got back on the bed. Saul held out his hands, wrists pressed together, and Jesse wrapped the leather around them. “Like this?” 

Saul nodded. “Yeah, that’s good. Make it tight.” 

Jesse tightened the belt as far as it would go, leaving Saul’s upper body practically useless. “That good?” 

Saul nodded and laid back on the bed, closing his eyes as a surge of cold excitement shot through him. It had been a while since he’d had this. 

Jesse got back into position over the other man and pushed inside of him again. This time, Saul let out a sharp hiss of pleasure. This was good. To be completely at Jesse’s mercy as he fucked him. But he still needed just a little bit more. “Jesse, can you… degrade me?”

Jesse stopped thrusting and looked down, confusion and lust lighting up his too-blue eyes. “What?”

“You know, like verbally. Insult me. Call me pathetic, worthless, anything you want. Please, Jesse.” 

“You’re pathetic, Saul,” said Jesse, cringing at how disingenuous the words sounded coming from his mouth. “You’re worthless. You’re a fucking whore.” He looked to Saul’s face to see if he had gone too far, but the older man had his eyes shut in pleasure and was moaning softly as his hips bucked up to meet Jesse’s thrusts. That had to be a good sign. “You’re disgusting. This is all you’re good for; you’re just a fucking hole for my dick.” That one got a good moan. Jesse sped up his thrusts. “You know what you are, Saul? You’re just a little fucking bitch.” 

That was it. Saul gave a choked cry and came hard all over their stomachs. Jesse gave a few more thrusts and followed shortly after, leaving them both sticky and panting. 

“So,” said Jesse, once they’d both caught their breaths a little. “You’re into that kind of stuff?”

Saul fidgeted a bit, as best he could with his hands still tied. “Yeah… I probably should have told you sooner. I just didn’t want to scare you off.” 

Jesse turned to look the other man in the eyes. “You’re not going to scare me off. I mean, I’m not really into it, but whatever makes you happy.” 

“I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, kid. We’re in this together. You think you could untie me now though? My wrists are starting to hurt.” 

“Shit. Yeah, of course.” Jesse sat up to remove the belt. “So… what else are you into?” he ventured. 

“Most of it you can probably guess by now. Bondage, pain, degradation, humiliation… Pretty much anything that involves being shitty to me in some way, bingo.” 

“Wow, that’s uh… intense.” 

"It helps with stress. Giving up control. To be at someone else's mercy and to just be forced to... let go," Saul explained. "So, what about you, kid? You got any kinks?”

Jesse tossed the belt to the floor and laid back down, avoiding eye contact. “I dunno, not really.”

“Nothing?”

Jesse shrugged. 

“Come on, kid. Everyone’s got something,” Saul prodded. 

“It’s just… it’s embarrassing.” 

“Hey, it can’t be more embarrassing than mine.”

When Jesse just tensed up and still refused to answer, Saul sighed and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Kid, whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ve seen some things in my day. I’ve seen a man sit in a pie. I’m not going to judge you.” Still, Jesse’s lips were sealed. “If you don’t tell, me I’m gonna have to start guessing,” Saul warned. 

“Fine, I’ll tell you,” Jesse gave in. “It has to do with… bodily fluids.” 

“Bodily fluids?” Saul repeated. “Like what? Blood?” 

Jesse cringed. “No! Not that! Like… like piss.” The few seconds of silence that ensued seemed to stretch on for eternity to Jesse. 

“Oh,” said Saul, once it sunk in. “In… in what way?”

Jesse blushed. “I dunno, man. I—I’ve never done anything about it in real life. I just… I saw this guy piss on some chick in a porno one time and it really… did something for me, you know?” 

Saul considered this for a moment. “So, would you want to piss on me, or have me piss on you?” 

Jesse rolled over and turned his back to Saul, unable to cope with the embarrassment anymore. “I don’t know, okay? Just forget about it. Pretend I never told you.”

Saul turned on his side as well and wrapped his arms around Jesse, spooning him. “Hey, Jesse. It’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed. We’ll figure it out, okay?” He pressed a kiss into the younger man’s neck. “You deserve to be happy too.” 

 

It had been a few days since their conversation, and their kinks hadn’t come up once. Saul didn’t want to push it. Jesse always seemed so fragile—ephemeral—like if Saul breathed wrong, he’d disappear. And now that Jesse was all he had, Saul wasn’t sure if he could handle that. 

So they sat on the former lawyer’s couch, engaging in a post-dinner make-out session, when Jesse finally spoke up. “Hey, Saul. I have an idea.” 

Saul pulled his lips away from Jesse’s neck and leaned back to listen. “Lay it on me, kid.” 

“Well, earlier today, while you were at work, I was doing some digging on the internet. And I think I found something that might work for both of us… like with what we’re into and all,” said Jesse, looking down at his own lap. 

“Yeah? Let’s hear it,” Saul coaxed. Even though he didn’t have a clue what Jesse might be referring to, he could feel himself starting to get hard in anticipation. 

Jesse looked up. “You ever heard of omorashi?” 

Saul shook his head. 

Jesse fidgeted, picking at his fingernails to avoid Saul’s gaze. “It’s, uh… a kink for people pissing their pants.”

It took Saul a moment to connect the dots. “You want me to—?” 

“The people who do it say it feels really good. And it’s got a lot of the stuff you’re into. I mean, humiliation. Losing control of yourself, letting go.” 

“That is true,” Saul began carefully, not wanting to disappoint the kid or make him think he’d overstepped a boundary. “It’s just… I don’t know, kid. It seems like a lot. And with all of the cleanup…” 

“I know it sounds like a lot, but I think you’d like it if you gave it a chance. We could do it in the shower, then it’s not that much cleanup.” Jesse looked up at Saul with his pleading blue eyes. “Come on, Saul. Just once? For me?” 

Saul sighed. He never could resist those eyes. 

 

When Saul got home from work the next day, his bladder was already starting to feel full. He hadn’t used the restroom before he left the mall like he usually did. The building pressure in his bladder matched the mounting apprehension in the pit of his stomach. 

When he walked in the front door, Jesse was sitting on the couch, waiting for him. The TV was on—some nature program about flamingos—but it was clear the younger man wasn’t paying attention to it. “Hey,” said Jesse. 

“Hey yourself,” said Saul, cracking a small smile to try and ease the tension in the room. 

“So, uh, we still gonna do this?” Jesse asked once Saul had hung up his jacket and sat down on the couch next to him. 

“If you still want to, kid.” 

Jesse nodded. “What’s your uh… status?”

Saul shifted uncomfortably. “Getting there.” 

Jesse lifted his hand up and tentatively placed it over Saul’s bladder, waiting to see if the other man would stop him. When he didn’t object, Jesse gently pushed down until Saul made a soft noise of discomfort. Jesse then looked up, eyes wide with raw desire. His gaze locked with Saul, whose own eyes betrayed apprehension, but also implicit trust. 

“Can I get you some water?” Jesse asked. Saul nodded, and Jesse got up to fetch a glass. 

 

One nature documentary and several glasses of water later, Saul was starting to squirm. This fact did not escape Jesse. “How are you doing?” the younger man asked. 

“My back teeth aren’t quite floating, but almost,” said Saul. 

“You think we should like, go to the shower?” Jesse asked. 

Saul felt his stomach flip at the thought. Sitting here, forcing himself to hold it was one thing. But actually getting up and going to the shower? That made things so much more real. Still, there was Jesse staring at him, silently pleading with him to let him have this. “Alright, kid. Let’s go.” 

First, they stopped by the bedroom so Saul could change out of his good work pants. Jesse had assured him it wouldn’t stain, but Saul didn’t want to take any chances. It wasn’t in his best interest to have to buy new work pants when he was supporting two people on a Cinnabon manager’s salary. 

So instead, he rifled through his clothing until he found an old pair of pink chinos hidden in the back of his closet. They weren’t something Gene would ever wear, so he could stand to ruin them. It wasn’t just visible stains he was worried about; he knew that whatever pants he wore, he would never be able to wear again without thinking of this. 

“Hot,” Jesse grinned once Saul had changed into the pants. “You should wear those more often.” 

“Yeah, as if people don’t already think I’m the biggest queer on the block,” Saul muttered. 

Together, they walked into the bathroom, and Saul stepped into the shower. Jesse stood a few feet away, rapt with anticipation. Saul’s eyes darted to the toilet. It was so close. He could just tell Jesse he’d changed his mind—that he didn’t want to do this—and piss in the toilet like a civilized person. Maybe watching him do that would be enough to satisfy Jesse. 

“Kid, I don’t know about this…” Saul admitted. 

“Saul, please,” said Jesse, his voice cracking a bit. The younger man looked completely unraveled with want. Pupils blown wide, mouth hanging open, pulse thrumming at this throat, and one hand tentatively fingering his hard cock through the front of his jeans. “If you don’t like it, we never have to do this again. Just please, once, for me.” 

Saul let out a shaky sigh. “Okay,” he said, reassuring himself more than Jesse. He swallowed hard and resigned himself to do this. He was fuller than he had been in a long time, so the relief would not be unwelcome, but getting his body to surrender control while fully clothed and while Jesse was staring at him so intently would be no small feat. 

He closed his eyes and tried to relax, telling himself that it was okay to let go, no matter how wrong it felt. All he could hear was Jesse’s hitched breathing and his own pounding heartbeat as his blood rushed to his ears. Since relaxing seemed to have no effect, he used his pelvic muscles to push, and then he felt it—the first little dribble escaping and soaking into the fabric of his boxers. He opened his eyes and looked to Jesse; it was obvious that what he’d done wasn’t apparent yet. So looked away and pushed again. This time a larger spurt escaped, soaking through his boxers and leaving a small wet patch on his crotch. 

Jesse drew in a sharp breath at the sight. This was even hotter in real life than in the videos he’d watched online. And it was made all the more intense by the fact that this was _Saul_. Saul doing this for _him_. Jesse unzipped his jeans and grabbed his cock, unable to keep from touching himself any longer. 

Saul shuddered at how wrong this felt; it went against his every instinct to allow himself to do this. But there was something else he was feeling too. It felt so good to be able to relieve the pressure after holding it for so long, and the wetness soaking into his crotch felt so warm. Then there was Jesse, watching him and touching himself. And then there was the hot shame that crept up his neck, making his cheeks and ears burn. It was so mortifying, being forced to piss himself like this while Jesse watched, and part of Saul lusted for that burning shame to continue. 

So he let out another hot spurt, a soft noise of relief escaping from the back of his throat. This time the dark patch on the front of his pants grew considerably. He could feel some starting to dribble down his legs now. It was too late to turn back, so he pushed again and completely let go. 

The piss soaked through the front of his pants completely and then started making its way down the sides, streaming in hot rivulets down his legs. He heard the sharp hiss as it left him, and he heard it spatter against the floor of the shower, soaking his bare feet, but he didn’t care. His eyes filled with tears of both relief and shame as he lost all control, unable to do anything but stand there and let the piss flow out of him. 

Jesse watched through a thick haze of arousal, mercilessly pumping his cock in his hand. He couldn’t tell where he wanted to look: the rapidly spreading, dark, wet spot on Saul’s pants or the completely undone expression of relief and humiliation on Saul’s face. 

Saul could feel that he was almost empty now. There wasn’t any pressure in his bladder any more, but a steady stream continued to make its way down the side of his already-soaked pant leg. He made a soft noise of satisfaction in the back of this throat, which pushed Jesse right up to the edge. 

Jesse stroked his throbbing cock as hard and fast as he could while he watched the stream of piss slowly dribble to a stop. Then, a few seconds later, when one final spurt spread across the drenched crotch of Saul’s pants, Jesse lost it. He moaned without restraint as he felt his orgasm overtake him, his knees buckling as cum poured over his hand. 

When Jesse recovered enough to open his eyes, he found Saul was leaning against the shower wall, staring at him. “Wow,” breathed Jesse. “That was… wow. Are you okay?” 

“Jesse, I need—”

Jesse couldn’t quite read the look on Saul’s face, but when he looked down and saw Saul’s hard cock bulging against the wet fabric of his pants—that Jesse could read. He stepped into the shower and knelt down in front of Saul, not caring about the piss that soaked into the knees of his jeans—they were going to do laundry anyway. Reverently, he reached up and placed his hands on the wet fabric at Saul’s thighs. 

Saul drew in a shaky breath as Jesse unzipped his pants and palmed his cock through his drenched boxers. He grabbed onto Jesse’s shoulders with both hands to keep himself grounded. 

“You made a mess,” said Jesse, tentatively at first, testing the waters to see if this was the kind of thing Saul wanted. “Look at you. You couldn’t even hold it, pathetic.” 

Saul bucked forward into the warmth of Jesse’s palm, and the younger man smirked. 

“You’re a filthy little bitch. And I bet you want me to touch you, while you’re all disgusting like this. Do you think you deserve that after what you just did?” 

“Jesse…” Saul let out a breathy whine. 

With a smirk, Jesse undid the button of Saul’s pants and pulled down his zipper. He pushed the pants beneath Saul’s hips—a difficult task when they were so wet—and then pulled Saul’s hard cock out of his boxers. 

With only a second’s hesitation, Jesse took Saul in his mouth. The taste wasn’t ideal—sour and salty and stale—but it was worth it to get to see the look on Saul’s face and hear his desperate moans. Saul grabbed at the back of Jesse’s head, twining his fingers through the younger man’s hair. Jesse sucked at the head at first, then took Saul further into his mouth, tongue licking down the underside of the shaft. 

By the time Jesse had swallowed him to the hilt, Saul couldn’t take any more. “Jesse, I’m gonna—”

Jesse bobbed his head up and down, and Saul came hard into his mouth, letting out a deep, strangled moan. Jesse swallowed it all down, but not before some spilled out of his mouth and dribbled down his lips. He let Saul’s cock slip out of his mouth and looked up at him with his intense blue gaze. 

“Jesus Christ, kid,” Saul panted. 

“So, you liked it?” Jesse asked. 

“Do you really have to ask that?” 

Jesse grinned and stood up. “So we can do it again?”

Saul chuckled. “Alright. But only if you do the laundry.”


End file.
